One two, Cha, Cha Cha
Photo: S. Subramanium.
Satiating the hunger for humour...Cyrus Broacha at the tea bar Passion in New Delhi's Vasant Vihar.
`WE ARE from a chai country. We should have only tea.'
The sermonising comes without warning, and you almost fall off your chair! Having expected oodles of laughter, such unseen seriousness in the look and the tone of MTV veejay Cyrus Broacha at once leads you to think he must have a twin brother! A stark opposite in nature, he has found a victim in you, to lecture on `doing the right thing.' Help! You almost scream. But then choose to take a moment to confirm the doubt.
Sitting face to face with this strange Cyrus, but sporting the same curly hair and burly looks, at Passion, a tea bar launched recently at Vasant Vihar in New Delhi, you hear him again. "In my case, I love anything that has milk. Because I love cows. I take 20 glasses of milk a day. Look at my body." Having said this, he sincerely flaunts his biceps. And you know you have got the right guy! The one who tickles your funny bone so effortlessly on MTV Bakra, Love is in the Air and Cyrus Vs Cyrus.
And, as if following a common show script, you burst out laughing with him. "I am here for the launch of Passion and so, I have to be politically correct. Otherwise, they won't give me my money," he explains. A rather enthusiastic waiter appears all of a sudden to request Cyrus to try "some other things" on the menu card. But he seems unbending on his statement, making sure he flies off to Mumbai in the evening with the cheque in his pocket. So with a wink, he orders, "Blow me hot and cold. Get me one iced tea and one hot tea. Nothing else bhaisaheb."
Sensing that the organisers are some distance away, you ask him, what about coffee? "What coffee? I know only `kaafi.' Look, the waiter is bringing `kaafi' tea for me," as expected, Cyrus is at it. In full throttle. As he takes a sip of the iced tea and then another of the piping hot tea, you leave the beverage to its fate, and try asking him whether he cooks. "I am a modern-day Indian husband. I can't cook but I can heat food. Trust me, I am too good at heating food in the microwave." All you can do then is giggle.
Clearly a mama's boy, he drops names of some dishes he could die for. "We Parsis have some amazing non-vegetarian dishes. I can kill you if you ask me to part with akoori, dau dar, kachembar papad and tar daal made by my mother."
He adds, "my wife is not a great cook." And quickly tags on to that, "She doesn't get the Delhi papers. But in case you put this on the web, I have a different quote for you."
He says egg bhujiya comprises the length and breadth of his cooking skills. "While I was studying in the U.S., I wanted to cook a Parsi dish. My sister gave me the recipe. I followed each word of it and finally, when I dished it out to my roommates, they yelled back, "This is something you take out and don't take in." Well, well, the obvious question that pops up in your mind immediately is, has he been so hilarious from childhood? "I don't know about it. But I quite know that when I was a child I was ugly," his reply leaves you smiling again. Wanting to share the secret of his health, he gives full credit to his "decent lifestyle, which includes a few glasses of milk at a bar on a Friday evening."
Fine, any other `good habit' worth mentioning? "I think I am too good at giving up things. If something becomes too hard, I quickly give it up." Oops!
SANGEETA BAROOAH PISHAROTY
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