Coping with job loss

`I'M SORRY, you're fired!' Maybe this is the first time you really blew it. You've been handed the pink slip and there's no use denying it. Devastated when that happens? As hard as it is to be out of work, it even tougher coping with the calamitious cut- backs.

A feeling of numbness and hurt overwhelms you, and what's more - it's not just another bad dream. If you find yourself in this state, it is probably not your fault - job loss happens to be one of the top three stressors in a person's life!!

Most people go through a roller coaster ride of emotions. The stages could be: Shock, Denial, Anger/Shame, Depression, Acceptance.

The fallouts of job loss

If you've never been unemployed, chances are that you may been shattered when it actually happens. Unemployment can often lead to a loss of self-esteem, and of course, the inevitable and unavoidable financial crunch fallout factor. Here are a few tips that would help you deal with job loss wounds.

Learn to accept what you cannot change

Learn to live in the present even though the past happens to haunt you. The only thing you can do about your past is to learn from the mistakes you've made. Take the blame for the wrongs you have done but don't slough in despair or wallow in self-pity, or worse still, blame someone else.

Cut down on luxuries

Job loss by itself can be traumatic, but the panic could possibly be traced back to shaky finances. To maintain an equilibrium, make sure you assess your financial situation, cut down on luxuries, define a budget and take proper steps immediately.

Keep healthy

Emotional heartaches often take a toll on your health. So, remember at all times to be good to yourself. Eating right can keep you fit and fine. Also include some form of exercise as a daily workout. This helps reduce depression too. Keep a list of activities or tasks that you want to accomplish such as volunteer work, repairs around the house, and hobbies, and make sure whatever you do makes you feel good.

Avoid stress

Try relaxation techniques - soothing music, shower, a piping hot cup of tea, or being with friends, reading, going for walks, going to a comedy shows perhaps, and for those religiously inclined, this is the time to renew your faith. To get a feeling of accomplishment, pursue interests like painting and music. Now's the time to learn things you always wanted but never had the time for somehow.

Avoid isolation

If you are unemployed, isolation and loneliness may plague you like never before. See your friends; talks with them will go a long way in overcoming the stigma of losing your job. Talk things out with confidants. You may be a private person who finds it hard to talk your heart out, but this is a time in your life when you need to make yourself do it in order to avoid withdrawing into a shell. You can either talk to your spouse, or a friend, or to a professional helper.

Know your strengths and weaknesses

`Know yourself' which means you should get a balanced view of your self. Gauge your skills and experience and see where you would fit in best. What things are you best at? What skills do you possess? Do you acquire new skills? If you don't balance your limitations against your skills, then you are helping the negatives get to you. What are your limitations? Balance them against your skills so that you don't let negatives gnaw at your self-esteem.

Help your family cope

Unemployment is a distressful time for the whole family, synonymous with loss of income, prestige and the fear of an uncertain future. Discuss with your family the pros and cons of the situation and your future avenues of work. Make it plain to your children there could be a cut in their allowance, but don't overburden them with emotional and financial pressures. Discuss about your job search with your family, and let them pitch in too.

Count your blessings

Make a list of all your assets. They could be health, spouse, house, friends etc. Socialise with family and friends who are supportive and probably your fans too. You want to be around folks who pick you up, not knock you down. Try to find time to be around them and make sure you stay happy at all costs.

Use realistic standards

Avoid the snare of gauging yourself by unreachable standards defined by someone else. Don't dwell on what society considers a success. Remind yourself that success will again be yours in course of time. Remember if you don't like something about yourself, there's always room for change.

Thrive during job search

Kickstart your career by a comprehensive job search. Keep the job search under your own command. Make a list of anyone who could be a possible. Network with other job-seekers, visit career and job sites to enhance your scope. Think of job loss as a new beginning. Put up a confident front at interviews and make sure you don't take rejection personally.

Professional help for overcoming job-loss blues

It hurts to be laid off. Seek professional help if depression is overwhelming or it lasts too long. If depression leads you to self-destructive tendencies such as the excessive use of alcohol and drugs, you may have to consider asking a professional for help.

Archana Anna

hinduthree@yahoo.co.uk