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"Sins"

HEARD OF this guy called Jag Mundra? He used to make some erotic thrillers with plenty of action, babes, guns, mystery, drama, comedy and so on. So in a way, it was value for money because you could actually pretend that you like Jag Mundra films because he's like the Jerry Bruckheimer of porn.

``Sins" makes even the cheesy Jag Mundra appear like a genius. There's an old joke about film classifications. In a U-film, the hero gets the girl.

In an A-film, the villain gets the girl. In an X-rated film... well... everybody gets the girl! ``Sins" belongs to the third category! Yes, Sins is just a regular porn film pretending to be a aesthetically well-done sensitive film.

The story, though based on a true episode, is just an excuse to sneak in a generous dose of love-making scenes.

A priest has an illicit affair with a young girl, and soon it becomes an obsession. Every alternate scene in the film is designed to make the lead characters take their clothes off.

The excuses the screenplay uses to get into these scenes is what makes the film hilarious in parts.

Seema Rehmani could probably teach Mallika Sherawat a thing or two, as she shows her what bold really is. She surely seems to have great potential. Too bad, she's just been treated like a porn star.

What is Shiney Ahuja doing as a priest? Perfect for a third grade TV soap, this actor is not only miscast in the role of a forty-something, but also hams at the drop of clothes!

In spite of the wildly choreographed steamy scenes, the absence of a storyline or at least an apology of it, made for painfully boring viewing.

This film didn't need Kerala at all. Not one location appears like Kerala, the architecture is very Goan, so are the names and the lifestyles portrayed. The accents too swing from spoofy Malayalam to wannabe American to Paan-in-the-mouth Marwari accent!

SUDHISH KAMATH

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