Between You and Me

CHENNAI

I AM not an admirer of Ms. Jayalalitha, nor do I find her almost daily demand that the Tamil Nadu Chief Minister's head be brought to her on a platter particularly amusing.

But I must say that one can't help agreeing with her that the Chief Minister's of Tamil Nadu and Karnataka have been positively abject in their response to the brigand's demands.

Especially as most of his demands are proving untenable.

But it is really difficult to know what one can do in such a situation.

Her recommendation that troops should be sent into the forest to unman Veerappan is as unfeasible as the suggestion that Ramakrishna Hegde is said to have made on cable TV to the effect that non- lethal gas should be spread in the forest, which I suppose, would put everybody to sleep, and make it easy to rescue the captives. Easier said than done.

The two governments are of course in a cleft stick. Their main concern, rightly so, is to get Mr. Rajkumar and his relatives out from the brigand's clutches safely and quickly.

Two things must bother them considerably. Mr. Rajkumar is a man in his early seventies, and though he might issue chirpy statements about the pleasures of the sylvan life and the brotherhood that exists between captives and captors, it is not impossible that his health could be affected.

The other concern of the governments is of course the real fear of the people's reaction if anything happens to the actor.

Karnataka has already had a taste of mobocracy when the actor was first captured. Imagination boggles at the thought of what might happen if Mr. Rajkumar is affected in any way. Obviously this is what is bothering both the governments, this is what they have to be prepared for, and there is no wishing this away.

Talk of what might have been done, the mistakes successive governments made, and such considerations is totally irrelevant.

That this tense event should also give rise to mud-slinging and name-calling among the political leaders is a sign of the desperate efforts parties are making constantly in our part of the country to evoke people's sympathy.

The present slanging match between the AIADMK and the Congress(I), ostensibly partners on the political scene, is, to use one of the words that they are bandying about, ``childish.''

The Congress(I) President of Tamil Nadu need not have gone to bat for the Karnataka Chief Minister, whom the AIADMK General Secretary wanted to resign, and called her demand ``childish.'' Whereupon the General Secretary's henchman, whose bluster always seems to eclipse any good sense and rationality he might have, jumped into the fray on behalf of his leader, called the national President of Congress(I) childish.

The Tamil Nadu Congress(I) President's mother, who owes allegiance to the AIADMK now, called her son a few choice names, and dubbed him childish.

So it goes, and the media have a field day, speculating on whether the AIADMK - Congress alliance will break down. Sadly enough, no one from the High Command of the Congress seems to have tried to bail out the Tamil Nadu Congress(I) President.

A folk tale which many readers will be familiar with. I was reminded of it when I thought of how many of the dramatis personae in the above paragraph have changed sides, and how many times.

A man learnt that a neighbouring country had no onions, never had any and was totally unfamiliar with the vegetable.

So he thought to himself, here is where I make a pile, and proceeded to that country with a waggon-load of onions. He made several dishes with onions and offered them to the king and the court.

They were enchanted with the delicacy, the king took the waggon- load, and presented the man with gold and precious jewels. When he got back to his town, he told his neighbour what had happened, and showed him the gold and precious jewellery.

The neighbour considered the subject for a couple of days, and came to a conclusion: if they can make so much fuss over onions, they will go crazy over garlic. So he packed a waggon-load of garlic, went to that country, made several dishes with garlic as garnishing, and presented them to the king and the court.

The garlic was a smashing success, and the king was so immensely pleased that he asked his vizier to give the man their most precious possession. Lo and behold, the man was given three bags of onions. You can choose the moral you like. (1) The other side is not always greener (2) Smell lies in the olfactory nerves of him who smells.

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THE STENOGRAPHERS' Guild (No. 1, Guild Street, T.Nagar, Madras- 17. Phone 434 2421; 433 7387) which has done yeoman service to the profession of stenographers, is launching a unique Cambridge Career Award in Secretarial skills and Information Technology skills at three levels of Secretarial training, which would cover Secretarial duties and responsibilities, including shorthand.

The candidates, trained in the Guild, will then take up the examination conducted by the Cambridge International Examinations Syndicate, a department of the University of Cambridge.

This course would be ideal for working Secretaries/ Stenographers. The Guild is also launching Cambridge Career Awards in Information and Communication Technology, covering word processing, spreadsheets, database, e.mail, etc.

The awards would be formally launched at a function on August 24 at 6-30 p.m. when Mr. N. Vittal, Central Vigilance Commissioner, Mr. Justice N. K. Jain and Mr. Kartar Singh, Deputy Director of the British Council will participate. Those desirous of joining the Awards course should contact the office of the Guild.

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THE MALAYALI Association, established in 1897 (28, Club Road, Srinivasanagar, Chetpet, Madras-31, Tel: 826 5833; 821 3884), is organising its fourth annual National Harmony Celebration, with 12 other fraternal associations on August 26 at 4-00 p.m. Each year, the Club honours a distinguished Indian, this year's choice being Dr. Sarvapalle Gopal, the eminent historian. Previous awardees of the honour were Dr. Kurien, Mr. C. Subramanian and Dr. M. S. Swaminathan. The programme includes a food fair followed by cultural events.

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PAYING ELECTRICITY bills, especially when one expects to be gone for a considerable length of time, poses many problems.

A reader suggests that the Bombay system might be adopted by TNEB.

In Bombay, he says, a lump sum can be deposited with the state electricity board to cover electricity charges when the user is away. This is fully credited by the board against later bills.

* * *

HERE IS one for lovers of Jewish stories, and I should make it clear, Parthasarathy, that this is the kind of story that Jewish people tell one another. Garfinkel and Finkelstein, total strangers to one another met on a train, fell to talking.

Then Garfinkel asked Finkelstein whether he knew Moshe the lawyer who lived in the latter's town, and what kind of person he was. Finkelstein said: ``I'll tell you what kind of a person Moshe is. He has a temper like an old goat. Dishonest? You will have to count your fingers after you shake hands with him. His poor wife? He beats her black and blue. He is disrespectful to our Rabbi, and eats on fast days.'' Garfinkel then asked: ``How can you be so sure of all these dreadful things?'' ``What do you mean, how can I be so sure? ``demanded Finkelstein indignantly,'' ``Who else should know better? Moshe is my very best friend!''

S. KRISHNAN

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